Australia is completely safe
The reputation is unfair
Just some jokers having a laugh
Really we’re safe as houses
Australia is completely safe
Just don’t kiss koalas you’ll get chlamydia
And those claws can disembowel you
Why were you that close anyway
Nobody said pick them up
Leave them alone and you’ll be fine
Australia is completely safe
A bite from a redback spider won’t kill you
Probably
Will hurt like a bitch though
It’s the redbacks without red backs who are
Far worse
So don’t touch them
And it’s all good
Australia is completely safe
It’s not like snakes are in our backyards
Usually
And it’s not like they’re gonna chase you
Unless they chase you
Like that one tiger snake in the Brindabellas
Argy bastard
But he wasn’t too fast
Got away from him and sat on top of the car
For eight hours
He gave up
Everything was tops see
No worries
Australia is completely safe
Don’t swim there dickhead
Don’t stare at that magpie
Don’t piss off that wombat
Don’t leave your shoes outside
And everything
Will
Be
Right.
If you need simple, easy-to-follow instructions on what do following a snake bite, click here; https://www.health.qld.gov.au/news-events/news/what-to-do-if-you-get-bitten-by-a-snake
Enjoy more poetry from Mountain Ash Chapter authors here; https://mountainashchapter.com.au/?cat=19