These are the thoughts of my eight year old son upon watching Baz Luhrmann\u2019s Romeo + Juliet (1996);<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Romeo is a dumb name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Explosions are cool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So where\u2019s Rosaline then?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is that Rosaline?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What about her?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wait, not in the whole movie? That doesn\u2019t make any sense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hey, that\u2019s Ant-Man!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can we get a fish tank?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is this a movie about sex?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is strip-tease a sex thing? I heard it from kids at school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Romeo should just shoot that guy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, I think it\u2019s true love. It has to be because they fall in love in a day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How long do you have to fall in love to be healthy then?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can we get a swimming pool?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you need a licence to shoot fish?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How can her parents pick who she marries? Can you pick who I marry?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The olden days were messed up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Juliet should shoot Ant-Man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can we watch Ant-Man?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are there blueberry muffins in this movie?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When were blueberry muffins invented then?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why don\u2019t you know?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can I have a blueberry muffin?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why doesn\u2019t Romeo just use a phone?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think he should have stuck with Rosaline even if she was invisible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wait, is that it? Are they both dead?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS MOVIE<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I DON\u2019T WANT TO WATCH A TRAGEDY IF IT HAS A SAD ENDING<\/p>\n\n\n\n
YOU SUCK<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
These are the thoughts of my eight year old son upon watching Baz Luhrmann\u2019s Romeo + Juliet (1996); Romeo is a dumb name. Explosions are …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":617,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[120],"tags":[61,52,60,59,11,10],"class_list":["post-614","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-memory-book","tag-education","tag-elissa-mckay","tag-funny","tag-romance","tag-story","tag-writing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pff1uY-9U","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1915,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=1915","url_meta":{"origin":614,"position":0},"title":"Dirty Dancing","author":"Elissa McKay","date":"August 5, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Last year we were on holiday in, Bendigo, Ballarat, not sure, some place that begins with a 'B'. Holiday houses are one of the few places left that still have DVD cupboards, and when I opened up this one, Dirty Dancing fell out. I shoved it in the DVD player\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Review"","block_context":{"text":"Review","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Screenshot-at-2022-08-02-16-48-39.png?fit=1004%2C673&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Screenshot-at-2022-08-02-16-48-39.png?fit=1004%2C673&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Screenshot-at-2022-08-02-16-48-39.png?fit=1004%2C673&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Screenshot-at-2022-08-02-16-48-39.png?fit=1004%2C673&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Untitled-design1.png?fit=2000%2C2000&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/614","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=614"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/614\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":616,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/614\/revisions\/616"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/617"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=614"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=614"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=614"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}