And I do, I really do. I regret every choice I\u2019ve ever made in life that has brought us to this misbegotten moment. Everyone around us is screaming. I am screaming. The wail rips from my mouth as my stomach lurches downwards. My eldest son grabs my hand, his terror pressing into my bones. One seat ahead, my little one keens constantly, a thin, tea-kettle scream that never ends and cuts me to the heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What an immense mistake. I hug the rail as bored attendants usher us out of the coaster, my knees trembling, tears rolling down my face. My husband\u2019s face is pure white. My children are traumatised. Our family will never be the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My five year old baby is vibrating, a violin string ringing with pure emotion. I open my arms. He ignores them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAGAIN!\u201d he shrieks at the top of his voice. \u201cAAAAGGAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here I am, regretting every choice I\u2019ve ever made for the second time this morning. What else can I do? Jon flat-out refused to consider it. My eldest son will probably need therapy. That leaves only me to take the baby on the rollercoaster again, my screams ripped out of me, blind with tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWould you like the coaster photo for only $23.95?\u201d a smiling booth attendant asks us on the way out. Hey look, there we are! Captured mid-ride by a sadistic hippogriff, the image shows my youngest son nearly incandescent with ecstasy, and me beside him, my face a rictus of terror.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c@#$% &@@. &%! #**!(#@,\u201d I reply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With some deliberation, we had decided to not tell the kids much about Universal Studios beforehand. I knew next to nothing about it anyway, apart from the exorbitant price of the tickets. Good lord, nearly a month\u2019s mortgage repayment just for the four of us for one day?! But hey, when would we ever be in Los Angeles again? We\u2019d do it for the kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s about the movies,\u201d I tell them, scratching in the vague direction of my nose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat about the movies? Like another museum?\u201d My eldest has had enough of museums.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMaybe. And rides. Like a tour maybe.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat rides? How much does each ride cost?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe rides are included in the cost of the ticket, so we\u2019ve already paid for them. We won\u2019t need to spend anything more while we\u2019re there,\u201d I say firmly. I am certain of this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t like movies,\u201d the little one announces.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes you do. We have already paid for the tickets so we are going to go, spend hours in lines, and have the happiest day ever.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s Disneyland,\u201d says the big one. Skepticism is rolling off him in waves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen you\u2019ll have to work for it a bit harder,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We have taken an uber across the heart of Los Angeles at 8.30 in the morning. It\u2019s earlier than we liked, and the kids look sleepy and resigned. But I\u2019ve read an article of helpful tips, and getting to Universal Studios early is tip number one. Tip number two is to bring lots of cash, which I\u2019ve disregarded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We wander in with the growing crowds, not sure what to expect. The first scream comes from the little one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMINIONS!\u201d he howls, sighting a giant theme store.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMINIONS!\u201d the big one howls back, and they bolt for consumer paradise. No, no and no. We did not fly fifteen hours to waste all our money on crap. We will not fall victim to the self-immolating principles of rampant capitalism. We will remember we are in possession of inviolate human souls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A passing Tweety Bird gives me an odd look. I may not have the right audience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the end, my kids only acquiesce to simple physics \u2013 if we load ourselves down with shopping in the beginning, we\u2019d have to carry it around the whole day. We stow our bags in a locker and drag their little woebegone faces past the stores, into Harry Potter world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tip three was to hit Harry Potter first, before the crowds push you out. And it is spectacular. Storybook castles, magical creatures, Hogwart\u2019s express and Diagon Alley, it\u2019s the movies come to life. Like everyone around us, we are rapt with enchantment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA ride!\u201d I declare. Before the lines get long.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhich ride?\u201d the kids want to know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAny ride! That one!\u201d A curly-lettered sign says it\u2019s the Flight of the Hippogriff. \u201cWow! This is going to be awesome!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Half an hour and a lifetime of regret later, me and my youngest son meet up with my husband and eldest son. They\u2019ve calmed their nerves with butterbeer (butterscotch fizzy) and a wander through the wand shop. People are buying wands (five dozen varieties, named for the characters) then walking around Harry Potter world, doing magic with them. You can make lights flicker, the train whistle, doors rattle, cupboards bang their doors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI want a wand,\u201d the baby says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNever,\u201d I say. \u201cLet\u2019s see what else is here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next world we hit is Silly Fun Land, populated by more minions. We fly \u2013 thank God, sedately \u2013 in brightly-painted carousel cars. There\u2019s a water play park next to us, too chilly to be in use. We find the Despicable Me virtual coaster and split up again, the youngest eager for more thrills and the eldest refusing to go near a coaster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhere have you been?\u201d my husband asks an hour later. He and the big one have done The Secret Life of Pets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe line took 45 minutes,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt was fantathtic!\u201d shouts the little one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We decide to do the Secret Life of Pets together, and then my eldest son allows himself to be convinced to try the virtual rollercoaster. Both kids are going crazy with excitement now, jumping and spinning, their faces alight. My husband\u2019s face, on the other hand, is looking drawn. I suspect I look the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am standing outside the Despicable Me ride while my husband takes both kids through. I have most of an hour to wait. Tweety Bird approaches me again. He has a security retinue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMy kids aren\u2019t here. I don\u2019t have to pretend to be nice right now,\u201d I warn him. He silently curses me beneath that giant yellow foam head and waddles away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I look around. We\u2019ve come through a picturesque Parisian alley with flower boxes and mopeds, which resembles absolutely no place in actual Paris. Life-size cartoons wander the crowds. A supposed janitor starts break-dancing, to spontaneous applause. I want to stick a fork in my eye.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Behind me, there\u2019s the facade of a genuine Irish Pub. How interesting. I wander inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIs that menu real?\u201d I ask of the genuine Irish bartender behind the bar, while I wave at the chalkboard behind him. He smiles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd are those drinks real? With real alcohol, I mean?\u201d He gestures to the card swipe machine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Twenty minutes later, half a cherry daiquiri in hand, my outlook on life has changed remarkably. I am in California, and the sun is shining on me. Piped audio of birds are sweetly singing. My kids are having a spectacular time. My kids! I do it all for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDarlings!\u201d I shout at them, waving my empty cocktail glass. What a glorious day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s 11.30 in the morning,\u201d says my husband. He is impressed. And a little jealous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We have a lunch in a 50s diner with decidedly un-50s prices. We head down the escalators, the views extending for miles, to find the lower lot an unexpected bust. Jurassic World is closed and the little one, the only one who wants to go on The Mummy and Transformer coasters, is an inch too short.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No matter. We head back to the upper lot. Geesh, these escalators are a ride themselves. My eldest discovers a love of virtual coasters, like the Simpsons ride we\u2019re on \u2013 we sit in our little car which jinks and jerks in all directions, while enormous screens provide the illusion of rails the height of mountains, or swinging through the air. They feel much safer than real coasters, and without the G forces. Outside they\u2019re selling doughnuts the size of our heads.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the kids have their sights set on a different dessert. We race back to Minion Land (hitting the Kung Fu Panda ride on the way) to grab a banana cream and blue raspberry slushie, peppered with crunchy banana candy. It is American and filthy and delicious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s 4pm and we can\u2019t even think of leaving yet. We take a break with the studio tour. We sit on a bus while Jimmy Fallon shouts at us and we trundle past old film sets. They\u2019re relics now, a bygone era of studios and sets that have been swept away by the need to shoot on-location. The kids couldn\u2019t care less.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019re getting frantic now, going crazy with the need to fit in more, more Universal Studios, before the gates close on us forever. My feet are killing me. I am hungover and sunburnt. I cannot leave. The kids lead us back to Harry Potter world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The baby is an inch too short for the Hogwarts castle virtual coaster, so this time I take the big one while Jon takes the little one to a magic wand show. This ride is my favourite; we hang in seats, swinging around in a long loop, while screens make us think we\u2019re flying on a broomstick through haunted forests and Quidditch grounds. I love it, but I\u2019m worried my son\u2019s shoes (with broken laces) will fall off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We make it through with shoes intact and locate my youngest son in the wand shop, clutching a wand. He looks like he\u2019s seen heart of the universe. \u201cThe wand chose me,\u201d he says with whispered reverence, clutching a long thin box to his chest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jon explains. At the wand show, Professor McGonagall asked for a volunteer to do some magic. She volunteered my little boy. He \u2018tried\u2019 a few different wands, resulting in some mild storms and explosions, before a beam of pure light and gospel music sanctified the right wand for him, a walnut and dragon heart-string wand, a special wand that can only be obtained through the show and not the store.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo it\u2019s free?\u201d I ask Professor McGonagall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c$59.95,\u201d she replies, pointing to the counter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I desperately try to loosen my son\u2019s grip on the wand, which is, really, a damned plastic stick with a chip in one end. His tiny baby hands are like cement. \u201cThe wand chose me,\u201d he re-iterates, with the light-blind stare of the true fanatic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I give up. \u201cWe\u2019ll take out a second mortgage,\u201d I say, lifting my son bodily onto the counter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To play fair, the eldest has to bankrupt us a third time. He chooses a delicate baby snow owl, perched on his shoulder with a curved magnet, which chirps and ruffles enchantingly when it hears its owner\u2019s voice. We\u2019d learn later the owl is a much-desired and almost mythical item, usually sold out when disappointed hordes descend on Harry Potter world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The sun is setting, evening drifting down gently across this enchanted kingdom in the heart of Los Angeles. Our feet hurt harder than we\u2019ve ever known. We move back through the stores, buying everything the kids want. Presents for everyone they know. Minion candy, a plush toy for the little one, an evil rabbit shirt for the eldest. We\u2019ll never be here again, I tell myself. I just want them to have something to hold, something to remind them of this one magical day. It\u2019s all for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHere mum!\u201d my big one calls to me. He\u2019s holding up a t-shirt, ash-of-roses colour, with silvery-gold letters embossed on the front. Wingardium Leviosa. <\/em>It\u2019s beautiful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s for you,\u201d he says. And I do, I really do. I regret every choice I\u2019ve ever made in life that has brought us to this misbegotten moment. Everyone around …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5332,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[120,7],"tags":[449,645,672,8,17,671],"class_list":["post-5329","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-memory-book","category-travelarium","tag-harry-potter","tag-los-angeles","tag-minions","tag-mountain-ash-chapter","tag-travel-writing","tag-universal-studios"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/IMG_8308-rotated.jpg?fit=3024%2C4032&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pff1uY-1nX","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3820,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=3820","url_meta":{"origin":5329,"position":0},"title":"The Most Unexpected Sight Imaginable","author":"Mountain Ash Chapter","date":"September 12, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"\u2018Wait, stop\u2026\u2019 she screamed, chasing me down the corridor. \u2018Don\u2019t open the door.\u2019 I opened the door and almost lost my breath. It was the most unexpected sight imaginable. Beautiful, but frightening at the same time. \u2018Shut the door!\u2019 my sister screamed, as she ran into me. I fell into\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Stories"","block_context":{"text":"Stories","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=5"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/vadim-bogulov-9kbNYzo1XtQ-unsplash-scaled-e1694510870608.jpg?fit=1200%2C548&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/vadim-bogulov-9kbNYzo1XtQ-unsplash-scaled-e1694510870608.jpg?fit=1200%2C548&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/vadim-bogulov-9kbNYzo1XtQ-unsplash-scaled-e1694510870608.jpg?fit=1200%2C548&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/vadim-bogulov-9kbNYzo1XtQ-unsplash-scaled-e1694510870608.jpg?fit=1200%2C548&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/vadim-bogulov-9kbNYzo1XtQ-unsplash-scaled-e1694510870608.jpg?fit=1200%2C548&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":581,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=581","url_meta":{"origin":5329,"position":1},"title":"This One Time I Could’ve Been Killed","author":"Amanda Gambas","date":"March 1, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"This one time, many years ago, when I was an inner city hipster, my partner Dan and I are out having a drink and a bash at pool at our local pub.\u00a0 The drinks and joie de vivre flow.\u00a0 Our pool shots are all dropping and none of the likely\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Memory Book"","block_context":{"text":"Memory Book","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=120"},"img":{"alt_text":"Open door","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/joaquin-paz-y-mino-OAM2cNo5U9U-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/joaquin-paz-y-mino-OAM2cNo5U9U-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/joaquin-paz-y-mino-OAM2cNo5U9U-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/joaquin-paz-y-mino-OAM2cNo5U9U-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4469,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=4469","url_meta":{"origin":5329,"position":2},"title":"The Funeral Celebrant","author":"Judie Mitchell","date":"May 10, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"The funeral celebrant He didn\u2019t know him, of courseThe deceasedInstead he stitched together\u00a0a homespunCloth of many huesA wifely tale or twoA child\u2019s distant memoriesA mate\u2019s amusing anecdote He didn\u2019t know him, the deceasedWasn\u2019t privy to inside infoCouldn\u2019t know the fault linesOf a flawed and fractured life. He wasn\u2019t told the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=19"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/AdobeStock_631587878_Preview-e1715341211269.jpeg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/AdobeStock_631587878_Preview-e1715341211269.jpeg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/AdobeStock_631587878_Preview-e1715341211269.jpeg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":955,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=955","url_meta":{"origin":5329,"position":3},"title":"A brief history of the word \u2018innocent\u2019","author":"Teresa Lawler","date":"May 20, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel,Mary (virgin, not whore). Be persecuted. Be a heroine.Just make sure you\u2019re fuckingInnocent.Otherwise you deserve this,your unbecoming. By all means, be devastated.Please cry a little andtell us how you are breaking.We might believe youif your tears are proportionateto our feelings on the matter.Tell us how you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=19"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/artem-maltsev-o0DSot0OSjU-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/artem-maltsev-o0DSot0OSjU-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/artem-maltsev-o0DSot0OSjU-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/artem-maltsev-o0DSot0OSjU-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/artem-maltsev-o0DSot0OSjU-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1618,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=1618","url_meta":{"origin":5329,"position":4},"title":"No. Not this time","author":"Morte Oakley","date":"July 5, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"I was asked todayif I could do somethingThat I\u2019ve done before.Nothing difficult.At least, it wasn\u2019t last time.Just mingle with a crowd,All in costume,Taking photos.Making the organisers proudBy recording their\u00a0Event. I\u2019d be paid in attendance,And with a meal.And asked for all my photosFor their permanent record. I last did thisMaybe a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=19"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/sasha-matveeva-zwH_LqCzTEY-unsplash-scaled-e1657001864202.jpg?fit=600%2C398&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/sasha-matveeva-zwH_LqCzTEY-unsplash-scaled-e1657001864202.jpg?fit=600%2C398&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/sasha-matveeva-zwH_LqCzTEY-unsplash-scaled-e1657001864202.jpg?fit=600%2C398&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3983,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=3983","url_meta":{"origin":5329,"position":5},"title":"Unspoken","author":"Michele Mitchell","date":"November 17, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019m sorry. I abandoned you, and the excuses are hollow; like an empty, rotting log on the forest floor. I defend my actions, hoping that I can sleep at night; the reasons fall dismally short when I wake. In the daylight, I numb myself to ease the guilt. I try\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=19"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/chitto-cancio-zlKnDMemevo-unsplash.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/chitto-cancio-zlKnDMemevo-unsplash.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/chitto-cancio-zlKnDMemevo-unsplash.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/chitto-cancio-zlKnDMemevo-unsplash.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5329","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5329"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5329\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5333,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5329\/revisions\/5333"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5332"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5329"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5329"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5329"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"