I know it’s trendy to look down on modern art. But what most people don\u2019t know is they\u2019re confusing modern art and contemporary art; they\u2019re two different genres, and about 150 years apart from one another. What I\u2019m looking at now, is contemporary art. And it is worth looking down on. It shows no understanding of its subject matter, it is an insult to the materials it was made with. I\u2019ll never understand contemporary art. Call me a purist, if you must.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThose poor paints,\u201d comes a man\u2019s voice from next to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I glance sideways. He\u2019s tall. Brown hair, short back and sides, fine rimmed glasses. Easy to look at. Much easier than this \u2018Rpt:LVA<\/em> by M. Harmon\u2019 hanging on the wall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I agree,\u2019 I say. \u2018I was just thinking that it\u2019s-\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018An insult to the materials?\u2019 he finishes with a smile like a crescent moon. \u2018I was just thinking the same thing.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n He leans forward, hands in pockets, scanning the painting as if searching for meaning. His rolled-up shirt sleeves pull against defined arms. There is a hint of a tattoo just below his elbow, no rings on his fingers. A fine, ornate watch wraps his wrist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I\u2019ll never understand contemporary art,\u2019 he mutters, before straightening up. \u2018Modern art, I get that. It was a revolution, not relying on academic instruction, or responding to those before it. This is \u2026 I\u2019ll never understand it. I prefer the classics.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n He flashes me another crescent moon smile. A flash of heat prickles up my neck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Do you feel like grabbing a coffee?\u2019 I blurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I would,\u2019 he says, \u2018but I don\u2019t drink coffee.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Oh \u2026\u2019 It suddenly gets very cold in here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I\u2019ve never even tried it,\u2019 he adds. The corners of his eyes crinkle, and he chuckles like a warm fire. \u2018But there is a first time for everything, don\u2019t you agree?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n I do. Very much so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As we sit opposite one another in a corner of the Gallery Caf\u00e9, it\u2019s difficult to stay focussed on the conversation. Not that the conversation is dull, it\u2019s the opposite. But I can\u2019t help but feel this was supposed to happen, and it makes me giddy. More than just chemistry, there is a synchronicity here; what he says I think, and I can feel that what I say he is thinking too. It\u2019s there in that smile, and the twinkle at the corner of his eyes. He is good looking, he is charming, and he is knowledgeable, he speaks about Manet, and Matisse. And O\u2019Keeffe. This is pure serendipity. I feel like I can\u2019t put a word wrong, I\u2019m so comfortable it\u2019s like I\u2019ve known him \u2026 well, not my whole life, but certainly longer than an hour. He is so familiar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018What do you think?\u2019 he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I realise I\u2019ve drifted. \u2018Sorry, what?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018O\u2019Keeffe\u2019s Red Canna<\/em> paintings,\u2019 he says. \u2018Do you think she knew what she was doing? As in, did she make them look like vulvas on purpose, and denied it for the publicity? Or did she seriously not know?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Bold of you to talk about vulvas on a first date,\u2019 I say with mock severity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He blushes slightly and stammers out, \u2018I\u2019m talking about artworks not \u2026 you know?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018You don\u2019t think vulvas are a work of art?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n He falls into wary silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Relax,\u2019 I say. \u2018I\u2019m just playing with you. Like O\u2019Keeffe would have.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n He lets out a relieved chuckle. \u2018Ah, you\u2019re going with option one, then?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Hundred percent. She knew what she was doing.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I think so too,\u2019 he says, sipping his coffee. \u2018That\u2019s what I like about her, a woman in total control. Dominant, detail oriented.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n I arch an eyebrow at this. If only he knew. But I won\u2019t give out all my secrets. Not just yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Do you want to get out of here?\u2019 I ask, coyly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Uh,\u2019 he leans back nervously. \u2018Uh, yeah sure. But did you want to maybe get a cake first?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018No, I\u2019ll take my dessert to go,\u2019 I say, running my foot up his leg under the table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He jolts at my touch. \u2018That\u2019s weird. You normally order cake first.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n My stomach hardens into cold stone. \u2018What?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018It\u2019s just \u2026\u2019 he checks his watch and taps the face of it in thought. \u2018You normally \u2026 every other time, you order cake first. What did I do wrong? Those poor paints \u2026 I don\u2019t drink coffee \u2026 O\u2019Keeffe \u2026 then there is cake, then <\/em>we \u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n My cheeks stick to my teeth; my throat closes up. Something is wrong. Horribly wrong. Hot shocks zap through my body, but my fingers are cold. Why is he so familiar? Shit. Shit!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Then we what?\u2019 I ask, against every impulse that tells me I don\u2019t want to know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He lets out a dissatisfied sigh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Then we what<\/em>?\u2019 I repeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018It doesn\u2019t matter, I\u2019ve wasted this loop now.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018What are you talking about?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n He is fidgeting away on his watch, barely paying me attention at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Hey, dickhead!\u2019 I say, and he copies me at the exact same time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018How did you do that? Stop that! Who are you?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n Again, he says everything that I say, exactly what I say, and with such boredom. I throw what\u2019s left of my coffee at him, but he\u2019s already slid his chair to one side, and I miss. I\u2019m lost for words. I\u2019m confused, scared. I want to grab him by the throat, but I also want to run away. I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Sorry, couldn\u2019t help myself,\u2019 he says, not breaking his focus. \u2018Don\u2019t worry, I\u2019ll pay more attention next time. Anyway, I\u2019ll see you \u2026 I\u2019ll see you earlier<\/em>, I guess. Get it?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n I dumbly shake my head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I\u2019ll see you at the art gallery, which is earlier than now,\u2019 he pauses and rubs his forehead. \u2018See if I make a mistake, I go back to the start of the day and try again.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018What? Why?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n His crescent moon smile spreads lopsided. His tight sleeves are more of a threat now, the tattoo is warning label. \u2018Because you\u2019re perfect,\u2019 he says. \u2018So, our first date must be perfect. And I\u2019ll do it as many times as it takes.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n This guy is crazy, unhinged. But it\u2019s better to play into the delusion, try to placate him. Try to talk him down and escape without making a scene.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018How many times do you think have we done this?\u2019 I ask carefully, side-eying the exit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He laughs. A much colder laugh. \u2018We<\/em>? You\u2019ve only done it once. But me \u2026 oh, more than I can count. Don\u2019t bother trying to run, by the way. When you get up to run, you trip over that old lady\u2019s handbag and smack your head on the coffee machine. Not pretty, lots of blood.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018You\u2019re mental,\u2019 I say. \u2018Leave before I scream.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Can do.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n He presses a button on his watch \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know its trendy to look down on modern art. But what most people don\u2019t know is they\u2019re confusing modern art and contemporary art; they\u2019re two different genres, and about 150 years apart from one another. What I\u2019m looking at now, is contemporary art. And it is worth looking down on. It shows no understanding of its subject matter, it is an insult to the materials it was made with. I\u2019ll never understand contemporary art. Call me a purist, if you must.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThose poor paints,\u201d comes a man\u2019s voice from next to me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I know it’s trendy to look down on modern art. But what most people don\u2019t know is they\u2019re confusing modern art and contemporary art; they\u2019re …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":4528,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[632,266,151,631,291,194,11,633],"class_list":["post-4526","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories","tag-creative","tag-horror","tag-kel-white","tag-knot","tag-short-story","tag-spooky","tag-story","tag-time-loop"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sff1uY-knot","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3475,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=3475","url_meta":{"origin":4526,"position":0},"title":"Lume Impressionism Ignites!","author":"Bethany Sinclair-Giardini","date":"April 28, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"The lights danced around the auditorium. A riot of colour. These twin traits are the very epitome of Impressionism. Names from my childhood returned to me, bringing a wave of nostalgia. Nostalgic due to my mum. 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The MOMA in SF, Hearst Castle and the Getty Center","author":"Elissa McKay","date":"January 25, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"We are standing in front of a group of giant ceramic pumpkins on the third floor of the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. They are glazed and quite pretty, plump orange bellies, curly green stalks. Probably needed a giant kiln. I can see the how. I just can\u2019t see\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Memory Book"","block_context":{"text":"Memory Book","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=120"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/IMG_7256-scaled.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/IMG_7256-scaled.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/IMG_7256-scaled.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/IMG_7256-scaled.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/IMG_7256-scaled.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/IMG_7256-scaled.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4399,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=4399","url_meta":{"origin":4526,"position":2},"title":"Martha Iserman Open Studio – Review","author":"Morte Oakley","date":"April 23, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"On Saturday I attended the home and art studio of Martha Iserman as part of the Dandenong Ranges Open Studios. Nestled on the side of the hill in Belgrave Heights, the home she shares with her husband Chase and their three cats is inviting and bright, and filled with art\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mountain Life"","block_context":{"text":"Mountain Life","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/mi-studio-1-e1713851634128.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/mi-studio-1-e1713851634128.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/mi-studio-1-e1713851634128.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/mi-studio-1-e1713851634128.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/mi-studio-1-e1713851634128.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4452,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=4452","url_meta":{"origin":4526,"position":3},"title":"Women & Children","author":"Kylie Eklund-Denman","date":"May 7, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"I was concerned when I picked up a book titled Women & Children, and it was written by a man. That man is Tony Birch. I needn't have been concerned about this man speaking about women and children. He does so eloquently and with a great deal of grace. 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I'm lying out on the lawn, watching the clouds float across the wide blue sky. There are soft noises around me of birds and insects, and in the distance I can hear traffic, but it doesn't disturb. 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