Watching a dog play frisbee. Delete.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Milkshakes and fried chicken with friends. Delete.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Toilet breaks \u2026 fourteen<\/em> incidents!? Good lord! Delete.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I lean back in my chair and rub my eyes. I\u2019m 29 hours through the 48 hours of footage I need to sweep. At 6 times speed it only takes 8 hours to get through it all, but that is still a long time. I\u2019d tried bumping it up to 12 times speed, but I couldn\u2019t tell what was going on. Couldn\u2019t spot any possible side-effects. Visible<\/em> side-effects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We work in a team of three, all looking for any irregularities or unusual events in the test subject. I sweep the visuals; Ted sweeps the audio (which means hearing those fourteen toilet incidents) but Elanor has the hardest sweep. She has to sweep our subject\u2019s emotions. 48 hours\u2019 worth of teenage feelings, even at a compressed 8 hours? That\u2019s a helluva vibe check.<\/p>\n\n\n\n None of us are given the test subject\u2019s name, nor any personal details. To us, this 48 hours belongs to subject Four\/D. Respect for our subject\u2019s anonymity is one of the reasons the sweep-and-store for side-effects work is split up. The other reason, according to the academics running this drug trial, is that if one person swept the entirety of the 48 hours alone, there would be \u2018unproductive consequences\u2019. What that meant was never explained; Elanor thinks it\u2019s to prevent identity dissolution, Ted reckons it\u2019s to prevent limerence. I just think you\u2019d go insane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Memberitol is what we call the drug, but its official name is \u2026 too long and hard to pronounce, even for us post-grad med majors. So, we just call it Memberitol. Ted came up with the name, \u2018get it\u2019 he\u2019d said, \u2018Memberitol? Remember-it-all?\u2019. It was a terrible joke, but it stuck. The drug records the 48 hours of a person\u2019s experience after ingestion and sends it all back to our machines for cataloguing. Don\u2019t ask me how it works, but it does. Its purpose is to help Alzheimer\u2019s and dementia patients. I reckon it could rewrite the brains of psychopaths, give them a little empathy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I catch sight of Four\/D in her bedroom mirror and pause the recording.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s unusual.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the stipulations of being a test subject is that all reflective surfaces be covered and avoided for anonymity. But there she is, Four\/D, looking at herself in the mirror, which makes it feel like she is looking right at me. For a moment it\u2019s as if my screen is a window.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She has straight black hair, bronze skin, dark eyes. An eyebrow piercing. And a thick stripe of scars running across her cheeks and nose. What are they? Where did they come from? They aren\u2019t new, not fresh. But they are striking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I lean forward in my chair. My finger bumps the control stick, resuming playback at 75% speed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The timestamp clicks over to 3.14pm. Four\/D raises her hand up and gently runs her fingertips across them. And as she does, I feel her fingers on my face. A jolt of lightning runs up my back and I hit stop. I need to stand up and stretch it out. I need space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As I move past Ted\u2019s pod, he\u2019s laying back with his headphones on. No earbuds, over-the-ear only. Better sound quality. He\u2019s not looking at the rubik\u2019s cube in his hand. He isn\u2019t trying to solve it, he just needs something to do with his hands while he sweeps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHey, where are you going?\u201d he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNeed a break,\u201d I mumble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCoffee?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHadn\u2019t thought about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ted hits stop on his machine and takes his headphones off. \u201cI\u2019ll come with you. Hey Elanor?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He throws his head over the short wall of his pod and knocks on the other side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat?\u201d comes Elanor\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe\u2019re getting coffee. Come with.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cKay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n ##<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow often do you pee, Els?\u201d Ted says as he slums down onto the grass next to Elanor. He hands out our drink orders and drops a tin full of chocolate biscuits between us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don\u2019t count,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat about you, Ash? More than seven times a day?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDunno,\u201d I say, staring out across the quadrangle. There are students moving across the space from one lecture to another. First years, you can always spot them. Wide-eyed and terrified. A couple of arts majors huddled around a guitar on a grassy mound at the far end of the yard. I blink hard, trying to push out the images from Four\/D\u2019s catalogue. Trying to delete the feeling of her touch on my cheek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cReckon Four\/D\u2019s frequency could be a side effect?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the stipulations for our role in the trial is that we don\u2019t discuss the subject\u2019s experiences. Just observe and report. But there\u2019s no chance of that happening. Especially with Ted on the team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDunno,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ted stirs three sugars into his coffee. \u201cEls, how was Four\/D\u2019s emotional state during her pee breaks?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Elanor is laying back on her elbows, staring up at the blue spots between the greying clouds. \u201cRelief,\u201d she says. \u201cAnd they weren\u2019t all pee breaks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut they sounded like\u2014”<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt was a side effect of cheap Indian food, not Memberitol.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ted curls his lip in repulsed realization. \u201cGlad I didn\u2019t pull the smell-sweep job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMemberitol doesn\u2019t record smells,\u201d Elanor replies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd for that, I thank Professor Skitter and his crack team of eggheads.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Memberitol doesn\u2019t record smell for a reason, smell is one of, if not the, strongest trigger for memories and emotions. Skitter and his team felt it unnecessary to record smells for that reason, it might muddy the memories. It might muddy the sweeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ted swipes up a pair of biscuits from the tin. He always eats them in pairs, stacked together like a sugar sandwich. He crunches down on them. \u201cD\u2019you delete them?\u201d he asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYep,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Elanor nods.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cS\u2019pose I will too,\u201d Ted says, biscuit crumbs spraying from his lips. \u201cShame. I haven\u2019t found anything else even close<\/em> to unusual.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNot for a teen, anyway,\u201d Elanor replies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNothing emotionally intense?\u201d I probe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She snorts. \u201cFour\/D is a teenage girl. They\u2019re all intense.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s what makes Elanor the best option for vibe-sweeping; she has limited capacity for empathy. I think back to Four\/D\u2019s scars, they certainly feel unusual. She must have felt something when she was looking at them in the mirror. But I can\u2019t ask Elanor what Four\/D was feeling at 3.14pm on the first day. It would draw unwanted questions, asking something so specific. Something so unusual.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Feeling Four\/D\u2019s touch on my face was definitely unusual.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ted crams another biscuit sandwich into his mouth. Elanor sips her coffee. I hold my hand over my chai, letting the steam drift between my fingers. The conversation has tapered off. Silence fills the air, urging someone to say something before it swallows us up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026 \u201cI did notice one thing,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ted raises an eyebrow. \u201cOh, really?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYeah. At 3.14pm, day one.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Elanor\u2019s eyes whip across to meet mine. It\u2019s clear as day across her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Whatever it was, she noticed it too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Watching a dog play frisbee. Delete. Milkshakes and fried chicken with friends. Delete. Toilet breaks \u2026 fourteen incidents!? Good lord! Delete. I lean back in my chair …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":4437,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[151,8,291,11,10],"class_list":["post-4430","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories","tag-kel-white","tag-mountain-ash-chapter","tag-short-story","tag-story","tag-writing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sff1uY-reach","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3453,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=3453","url_meta":{"origin":4430,"position":0},"title":"Sleep","author":"Barbara McCarthy","date":"April 18, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Where is it? That wonderful, healing, evasive, pervading, and even sometimes playful state of consciousness\u2014called\u00a0sleep. Sometimes it is teasing and pretends to be just on the horizon before flippantly removing itself behind thoughts and daydreams and refusing to be found.\u00a0 The root of the type of sleeplessness that consumes me\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mountain Life"","block_context":{"text":"Mountain Life","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/egor-vikhrev-olyI4zK0WFk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/egor-vikhrev-olyI4zK0WFk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/egor-vikhrev-olyI4zK0WFk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/egor-vikhrev-olyI4zK0WFk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/egor-vikhrev-olyI4zK0WFk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/egor-vikhrev-olyI4zK0WFk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3938,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=3938","url_meta":{"origin":4430,"position":1},"title":"The Luna Rose","author":"Bethany Sinclair-Giardini","date":"October 31, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"In the small, hillside town of Wraithside, nestled deep within the heart of the ancient Whispering Forest, a legend spoke of a unique and enigmatic flower known as the Luna Rose. 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They don't let you go for a second. Some stories you don't want to end, and regret is a forever companion when you have no more pages.\u00a0 The Strays, is one such book. I loved everything about this story;\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Review"","block_context":{"text":"Review","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/strays.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3898,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=3898","url_meta":{"origin":4430,"position":4},"title":"Small Mercies by Dennis Lehane","author":"Helen Jahn","date":"October 17, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"This is my second Dennis Lehane book. I read the last one a number of years ago and remember it as a gritty story set in Boston and in particular, in the low socio-economic areas with predominantly Irish families. 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It would have been good if it was comprehensible and not a conglomeration\/collection of stories that are not set in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Review"","block_context":{"text":"Review","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/aaron-burden-4uX_r8OhJ_o-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/aaron-burden-4uX_r8OhJ_o-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/aaron-burden-4uX_r8OhJ_o-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/aaron-burden-4uX_r8OhJ_o-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/aaron-burden-4uX_r8OhJ_o-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/aaron-burden-4uX_r8OhJ_o-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/annie-spratt-QckxruozjRg-unsplash-e1714115217856.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4430","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4430"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4430\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4436,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4430\/revisions\/4436"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4437"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4430"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4430"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4430"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}