{"id":439,"date":"2021-12-10T12:57:51","date_gmt":"2021-12-10T02:57:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=439"},"modified":"2021-12-10T12:57:51","modified_gmt":"2021-12-10T02:57:51","slug":"lampshade","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=439","title":{"rendered":"lampshade"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">Noosa.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">Sitting outside by a<br>jacaranda tree.<br>I tip my glass, hopefully, searching for<br>the last golden droplet to savour.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">A smile falls on my face.<br>The sun\u2019s warmth mingles with the fuzzy pleasure<br>in my belly, in my head.&nbsp;<br>Content in my thoughtless-ness,<br>my mild state of oblivion.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">Slowly I pick up my book and my bag and glide<br>through the street, pausing in front of numerous shop windows.<br>I gaze<br>carefully<br>at the overpriced tourist goods inside.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">There she is,<br>my straw hat.&nbsp;<br>I\u2019ve been looking for this hat for a long time.<br>Roughly textured, wide corrugated brim,<br>peachy trim.<br>Sure to keep the sun off.<br>Great for redheads<br>I place the hat gingerly on my head.<br>Nerdy-chic. Reminds me of something,<br>somewhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cWhat the hell are you wearing, nerd?!\u201d It was the early 90s and everyone wore those legionnaires caps with the built in mullets at the back.&nbsp;<br>Fluoro yellows and greens and pinks surrounding my every playground move.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">I wore a lampshade that I had spotted in the back of the guest room cupboard. It was made of straw.<br>Roughly textured, wide corrugated brim,<br>mustard trim.<br>Sure to keep the sun off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">In my transition from a remote indigenous community in Arnhem Land to country New South Wales no one had thought to inform me of something critically important: being cool was not about standing out or being different.\u00a0<br>It was about fitting in.\u00a0<br>Wear the same, speak the same, do the same.\u00a0<br><em>That<\/em> was cool.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">I didn\u2019t know. I thought difference reigned supreme.<br>So I used adjectives like \u2018wonderful\u2019 and \u2018fabulous\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">And I read. I liked to read books that were too big to be held with one hand, so big I had to read them with two. Head down, book up, wandering around the school playground reading.<br>Flaunting my love of literature,<br>completely oblivious to the appeal of monkey bars and team sports.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">I tended towards the macabre. Grisly mysteries, hardly age-appropriate,<br>in hindsight. Henri Ren\u00e9 Albert Guy de Mauppasant\u2019s \u2018The Hand\u2019 was a particular favourite.&nbsp;<br>A human hand\u2026muscles exposed, traces of old blood on the bones. This hand,&nbsp;<br>locked in a drawer that would come out at night like a scorpion, tendons dangling\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">I re-told the stories to my classmates.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">They pulled my pants down,&nbsp;<br>in disinterest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">And when I wore that lampshade to school everything changed.<br>No, it didn\u2019t,<br>really it didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">But you know, in the long term I\u2019m more resilient. Etc.<br>Or<br>the fluoros never<br>bothered me so much anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">Either way,<br>here I am.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">The nerd. The misfit. Nearly thirty years later,&nbsp;<br>standing in a Noosa boutique.<br>Surrounded by bikinis and suntans<br>Lampshade on my head.<br>I survey her in the mirror&nbsp;<br>critically.&nbsp;<br>Ginger-<br>ly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">How far we\u2019ve come,&nbsp;<br>full circle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Noosa.&nbsp; Sitting outside by ajacaranda tree.I tip my glass, hopefully, searching forthe last golden droplet to savour. A smile falls on my face.The sun\u2019s warmth &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":440,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[19],"tags":[35,21,20,10],"class_list":["post-439","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry","tag-experience","tag-poetry","tag-teresa-thomson","tag-writing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/weston-mackinnon-y_ELhfdN_c0-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=2560%2C2560&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pff1uY-75","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4257,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=4257","url_meta":{"origin":439,"position":0},"title":"This is Not a Poem","author":"Elissa McKay","date":"March 8, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThis is not poetry!\u201dmy son shoutsthe darkness of his eyesswimming in outrage Because I can\u2019t just arrangewords on the pageto make pretty shapesthe words have to mean somethingor rhyme (rhyme can stand infor meaning) poetry has tobe profound More meaningful thanthe long clean lines of armand leg, his straight nose,his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Memory Book&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Memory Book","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=120"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/rachael-crowe-jK8JZGgBtHM-unsplash.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/rachael-crowe-jK8JZGgBtHM-unsplash.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/rachael-crowe-jK8JZGgBtHM-unsplash.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/rachael-crowe-jK8JZGgBtHM-unsplash.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2909,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=2909","url_meta":{"origin":439,"position":1},"title":"This Is Not Our Time","author":"Teresa Lawler","date":"November 12, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"I'd rather endureall of the sadnessthan remain Unknowing.Bring me back,hold me. 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