{"id":3513,"date":"2023-05-12T15:04:47","date_gmt":"2023-05-12T05:04:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=3513"},"modified":"2023-05-12T15:04:47","modified_gmt":"2023-05-12T05:04:47","slug":"certain-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=3513","title":{"rendered":"Certain Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-sitetext-color has-sitebg-background-color has-text-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">Today I met Dave and Harry in the warm water pool at the leisure centre\u2014well, I didn\u2019t actually <em>meet <\/em>them, but I saw them, and I knew immediately that they were friends. When they passed each other, treading through the water with matching wide and energetic steps, each approaching from an opposite end of the pool, they would stop and exchange a few words, perhaps a familiar joke, I thought, and then they smiled and moved on. I used to have a friend like this. We were younger\u2014very much younger than Dave and Harry\u2014but we shared the same humour, shared the same thoughts and feelings and knew each other well, and when we passed each other we always had something to say and to smile about. We would be together for ever\u2014or so I thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitetext-color has-sitebg-background-color has-text-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">But when my friend was in her teens, things changed for us. She became distant, withdrawn from me, and refused to share her innermost thoughts even when I offered to buy them\u2026<em> for a penny<\/em>, which is what we used to say to each other, and then laugh behind our hands, heads together; it was our own secret which no other folks understood. When she began to change I would suggest gently to her that she might need some help, some counselling perhaps, to deal with the way she was feeling and I told her I knew someone who might help her and promised I would go with her so we could work it all out together and nothing had to be different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitetext-color has-sitebg-background-color has-text-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">I think our worst difficulties began when her mother interfered and started taking her to visit a woman she had heard of in town. A \u2018professional\u2019, she said. She began to visit her once a week, but I only went there just once when she allowed me to come and sit on the couch with her for a little while before they sent me away. And I knew they were talking about me each time they met\u2014I could sense it, my friend never told me, in fact she told me nothing about these visits, but I just knew.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitetext-color has-sitebg-background-color has-text-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">Things went downhill from then on. I felt discarded, ignored, invisible to her in fact, and I wanted so much to help her as I always had\u2014to be her companion\u2014but she was never going to be my special friend again, of that I was certain. Her mother was very happy to know I wasn\u2019t a real friend to her anymore, that was clear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitetext-color has-sitebg-background-color has-text-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">So, I have picked myself up, dusted myself off, and I am ready to attach myself to someone else. Today I think I have found the perfect friend: he is Dave, and he and I will go to the pool together to exercise because he is <em>old<\/em> and lonely\u2014not <em>young<\/em> and lonely as my friend had been\u2014and when I realised that Harry was just his \u2018imaginary friend\u2019 I stepped in straight away\u2014well swam in beside him, actually\u2014and discreetly filled Harry\u2019s spot which, with Dave\u2019s early senile dementia, was not a hard thing for me to do. Now, life will be good again, for Dave and for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitetext-color has-sitebg-background-color has-text-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">I do worry about all the little people who have had to leave me behind though, the ones who have been talked out of my existence and their need for me as their friend (always by well-meaning adults, of course). But I know that the world is also full of those who will be helped by me at some point in their lives, either at the beginning or at the end, so I can put up with being shunned, stepped on, tripped up, swum over, ignored and rendered invisible\u2026for their sakes\u2014and because I serve a purpose, and to me I am not imaginary\u2026 I am just a friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitetext-color has-sitebg-background-color has-text-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">May I suggest that you don\u2019t let me pass <em>you<\/em> by either, and if we have found each other, don\u2019t be too hasty in sending me away, will you?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Today I met Dave and Harry in the warm water pool at the leisure centre\u2014well, I didn\u2019t actually meet them, but I saw them, and &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":3514,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[327,348,349,8,11,10],"class_list":["post-3513","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories","tag-barbara-mccarthy","tag-imaginary-friend","tag-invisible","tag-mountain-ash-chapter","tag-story","tag-writing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pff1uY-UF","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2152,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=2152","url_meta":{"origin":3513,"position":0},"title":"Lily","author":"Helen Jahn","date":"August 23, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"The last time he saw her was at his father\u2019s funeral. It took a moment only to notice the vaguely familiar face but it wasn\u2019t until the final dirge-like hymn that the penny finally dropped. Dave couldn\u2019t be sure of which brain connections collided with which memories that led him\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Stories&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Stories","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=5"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/nick-karvounis-axOBcLLvV_Q-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=960%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/nick-karvounis-axOBcLLvV_Q-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=960%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/nick-karvounis-axOBcLLvV_Q-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=960%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/nick-karvounis-axOBcLLvV_Q-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=960%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3440,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=3440","url_meta":{"origin":3513,"position":1},"title":"A Love Story","author":"Maggie McLaren","date":"April 14, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cDon\u2019t look at me like that,\u201d I said. He moved closer, looking at me directly. That unnerved me even more. \u201cKaz,\u201d he said seriously. \u201cYeah, that\u2019s me.\u201d \u201cI\u2019ve been thinking,\u201d he said. \u201cWhatever for?\u201d I quipped back at him. \u201cI think I love you.\" My eyes widened and my breath\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Stories&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Stories","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=5"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/kyle-head-p6rNTdAPbuk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/kyle-head-p6rNTdAPbuk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/kyle-head-p6rNTdAPbuk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/kyle-head-p6rNTdAPbuk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/kyle-head-p6rNTdAPbuk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4177,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=4177","url_meta":{"origin":3513,"position":2},"title":"The Friend","author":"Maggie McLaren","date":"February 16, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Three years after that bat sneezed in a market in China, I sat perplexed. How had this happened to me? I thought my friendships could overcome anything. I remember when I first heard the word Corona, I thought it was a boring beer, turned out it was a lethal virus.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Stories&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Stories","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=5"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/omar-lopez-0-uzdU3gUYw-unsplash-e1708068579128.jpg?fit=1200%2C726&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/omar-lopez-0-uzdU3gUYw-unsplash-e1708068579128.jpg?fit=1200%2C726&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/omar-lopez-0-uzdU3gUYw-unsplash-e1708068579128.jpg?fit=1200%2C726&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/omar-lopez-0-uzdU3gUYw-unsplash-e1708068579128.jpg?fit=1200%2C726&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/omar-lopez-0-uzdU3gUYw-unsplash-e1708068579128.jpg?fit=1200%2C726&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3516,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=3516","url_meta":{"origin":3513,"position":3},"title":"Who Am I","author":"Maggie McLaren","date":"May 16, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cCome to video Satsang, it might cheer you up,\u201d my friend said. \u201cWhat\u2019s Satsang?\u201d \u201cNot sure but a local woman is holding space for people to come along. She told me we meditate then watch the video.\u201d \u201cSounds odd, what\u2019s the video about?\u201d \u201cA woman called Gangaji is speaking.\u201d \u201cIndian?\u201d\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Stories&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Stories","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=5"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/harry-cunningham-74SU58RNlYk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=797%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/harry-cunningham-74SU58RNlYk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=797%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/harry-cunningham-74SU58RNlYk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=797%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/harry-cunningham-74SU58RNlYk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=797%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4388,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=4388","url_meta":{"origin":3513,"position":4},"title":"Orpington Station","author":"Bethany Sinclair-Giardini","date":"April 19, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"The cold metal bench sent shivers through her body as she sat down, takeout coffee cup in hand. 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I have my musical choices playing through the car system, as usual. The next song begins. The guitars and drums come in immediately and urgently. Stabbing at the air. 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