{"id":3492,"date":"2023-05-05T18:02:04","date_gmt":"2023-05-05T08:02:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=3492"},"modified":"2023-05-06T08:09:07","modified_gmt":"2023-05-05T22:09:07","slug":"a-girl-a-lion-and-a-sailors-hornpipe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=3492","title":{"rendered":"A Girl, A Lion and a Sailor&#8217;s Hornpipe"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cHey! What the hell are you doing in here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">To say I\u2019m surprised to find a lion in my usual hook up place is underestimating it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">The lion doesn\u2019t seem happy to have his afternoon nap interrupted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI was sleeping and minding my own business,\u201d he growls loudly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cThat\u2019s not answering my question,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cIt is the answer that I am giving you. Do not pursue this line of questioning Little Girl,\u201d he grunts angrily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cOk, well. Um. How long do you think you\u2019ll be here?&nbsp;&nbsp;I\u2019m meant to be meeting a friend and you might scare him off if he sees you hiding behind that door.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI am not hiding,\u201d snarls the lion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cWhy are you talking like this?\u201d I ask him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cLike what?\u201d he ejaculates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cWell it doesn\u2019t sound realistic.&nbsp;&nbsp;All those silly speech tags and adverbs, they really aren\u2019t necessary. And a few contractions here and there wouldn\u2019t go astray. You just don\u2019t sound like a real lion!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI do not comprehend what your words are trying to explain to me,\u201d roared Mr Lion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cFor a start, your speech is a bit wordy and comes out sounding stiff.&nbsp;&nbsp;When most people talk they use contractions, like saying \u2018I don\u2019t comprehend,\u2019 not&nbsp;&nbsp;\u2018I do not comprehend\u2019.\u201d I mimic his stilted way of speaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cThank you, I will try to bear that in mind.\u201d The lion replied politely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cYeah, and too many corny speech tags, like \u2019sighs\u2019, \u2018grunts\u2019, and who the hell says \u2018ejaculates\u2019?\u201d&nbsp;&nbsp;I draw a hand over my face.&nbsp;&nbsp;I\u2019m almost embarrassed to say it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cMy apologies, Little Girl. Please understand that English is my second language.&nbsp;&nbsp;I\u2019m not even sure how I learnt it. What are these adverbs of which you speak?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cDude, all those words ending in \u2018ly\u2019 like \u2018politely\u2019, um, or \u2018angrily\u2019, are just not needed. It sorta interrupts the flow of the story. I can already tell you\u2019re being polite, or you\u2019re angry, you don\u2019t need to announce it like that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI do not mean to ruin your story. It is just the way I am written. I deduce that the author does not know how to write Lion.\u201d He sighs dejectedly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cOh my lordy lordy! That\u2019s terrible. I\u2019m sorry you\u2019ve been written so badly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cIt looks like she doesn\u2019t know how to write Little Girl, either,\u201d chuckles the lion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cHey! Rude! This is how I normally speak!\u201d&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019ve had just about enough of this lion. My boyfriend\u2019s gonna turn up any minute and will really freak out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cWell, if we are going for realism here, why are you holding that ridiculous pose?\u201d He sneers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cWhat\u2019s so ridiculous about it?\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cYou look like a pantomime sailor, scanning the horizon. I keep thinking you are going to break into a sailors\u2019 hornpipe.\u201d He makes a strange noise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cAre you laughing? At your own joke? Maybe the writer is improving. That wasn\u2019t bad.\u201d I say begrudgingly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cDid you just use an adverb?\u201d He asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cNo. Shut up!\u201d I bubble enragedly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cThey&nbsp;&nbsp;aren\u2019t even real words.\u201d Says the Lion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cOh no! What is happening here? Why am I talking like this now? And standing like this without moving?\u201d I cry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI\u2019m starting to quite like this author, actually.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">The lion is nodding sagely.&nbsp;&nbsp;And my arm is starting to tire from holding it up to my brow.&nbsp;&nbsp;I fear something disastrous has happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cOh please, oh please,\u201d I beg, beseechingly to the author, \u201ccan you write this again?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-sitebg-background-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\">To read more from <a href=\"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?tag=amanda-gambas\" data-type=\"post_tag\" data-id=\"9\">Amanda Gambas click here.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cHey! What the hell are you doing in here?\u201d To say I\u2019m surprised to find a lion in my usual hook up place is underestimating &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":3493,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[9,53,152,8,11,10],"class_list":["post-3492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories","tag-amanda-gambas","tag-craft","tag-fantasy","tag-mountain-ash-chapter","tag-story","tag-writing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pff1uY-Uk","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":757,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=757","url_meta":{"origin":3492,"position":0},"title":"Once There Was a Village &#8211; Now There Is Selfcare","author":"Amanda Gambas","date":"April 22, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Meet JaneJane is struggling to keep things togetherJane reaches out looking for helpThe People shake their heads and say I know it\u2019s tough isn\u2019t it?It\u2019s normal,We\u2019re all struggling.The People say Selfcare is the answer, are you looking after yourself?Jane asks What is selfcare?The People tell her to go away on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=19"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/guy-stevens-dEGu-oCuB1Y-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=801%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/guy-stevens-dEGu-oCuB1Y-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=801%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/guy-stevens-dEGu-oCuB1Y-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=801%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/guy-stevens-dEGu-oCuB1Y-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=801%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3588,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=3588","url_meta":{"origin":3492,"position":1},"title":"Acts of Love","author":"Mountain Ash Chapter","date":"June 13, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Paris drew onthe thousand shipsand burned the ancient world But Itake a coinfor the trolley Looking for bananasjust betweengreen and yellow Read the sugar contentof yoghurtDo you really need those Gumboots it's stillsummerand something small for lunchboxes PUT THOSECHIPS DOWNyou say you like capsicum But you never eat itAnd yes,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=19"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/franki-chamaki-ivfp_yxZuYQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/franki-chamaki-ivfp_yxZuYQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/franki-chamaki-ivfp_yxZuYQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/franki-chamaki-ivfp_yxZuYQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/franki-chamaki-ivfp_yxZuYQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2932,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=2932","url_meta":{"origin":3492,"position":2},"title":"Takeaway","author":"Kel White","date":"November 15, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"My coffee isn't hot enough. 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I\u2019m telling Mum.\u2019 \u2018No! We promised Grandad,\u2019 says his twin Rommy. \u2018But, how can we get him down the stairs?\u2019\u00a0 \u2018The kayak,\u2019 says cousin George. \u2018We know about the kayak, \u2026Ohhh!\u2019 says Rommy, \u2018we bring it here, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Stories&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Stories","link":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?cat=5"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/alexander-klimm-HC9KPH8_6UY-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/alexander-klimm-HC9KPH8_6UY-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/alexander-klimm-HC9KPH8_6UY-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C960&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/alexander-klimm-HC9KPH8_6UY-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C960&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/alexander-klimm-HC9KPH8_6UY-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C960&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1766,"url":"https:\/\/mountainashchapter.com.au\/?p=1766","url_meta":{"origin":3492,"position":5},"title":"Fear","author":"Jim Reiher","date":"July 19, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"It was a scenario Tommy had sought to avoid, since forever. Now, to his dismay, it was upon him. As he turned away from his locker the school bully was standing behind him. 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